My Doctor’s Visit: 2010

On Friday I went to see my Korean doctor in Pyeongnae, South Korea for my regular appointment, and during the visit I discussed a few other symptoms with him:  a lack of energy, knee pain, and some minor aches & pains that are common with men my age.  He listened patiently before delivering a short summary of my problem.

He softly said, “you’re not a young man anymore; you’re over sixty now, and these things are to be expected.  It’s important for you to remember to take your age into account.”

I listened politely, laughed, and shook my head in agreement like a child.  I paid my doctor’s fee and picked up my medicine from the pharmacy next door.  Both the doctor’s office & pharmacy are on the 4th floor of the hi-rise.  Riding down the elevator I thought about his educational comment to me concerning my age and laughed to myself.  From now on all my health problems could plausibly be explained by my age.  When I arrived home, my wife asked me how things went.  I told her about the visit and added that the doctor had a cure for all my ills now.

“What do you mean by that?” my beautiful wife asked me.

I explained:  “Well, today my doctor ascribed my lack of energy and my aches & pains to old age, so anything and everything from this day forward can be deflected by a quick quip of-it’s age related.”

I was thinking before hand that a modicum amount of my lower energy level might be caused by side effects from my meds; and maybe my aches & pains could be reduced by a simple treatment strategy.  I became speechless when he diagnosed my concerns as old age.  Adding old age to the diagnostic manual of medical diseases might convince me to go back to college in my golden years and specialize in Geriatric medicine.

I hope & pray my wife refrains from adopting the doctor’s latest prescription for improving my health, but I’m beginning to believe it’s already too late.  The other day she reminded me to be extra careful during my short walk around the block.  She worried about me taking a bad spill & hurting myself.  Before leaving I gave her a long-winded speech about my exceptional balance and powerful running style I displayed during my high school football career.  I told her not to worry, but my skillful self-appraisal did not comfort her one iota.  I almost got out the door before her final warning.

“Remember honey what the doctor said, you’re over sixty now & closer to seventy than sixty; and by the way, don’t forget to take your cell phone in case you fall down and can’t get up.”

My walk was a downer after concluding that the doctor and my wife are on the same page.  How can you argue with your doctor and/or wife when they cite a fact you cannot deny?  They’re always right when they remind you of your age.  All things can be explained away once they say,  “Remember, you’re over sixty now.”   What a revolting development this is!!

Wayfarin’ Strangergarland dale

A very funny comedy skit by Brian Regan (emergency room).

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